~I love words~

Words make me happy. . . artfully strung together they tell a story whether enchanting or heart stopping, they give instruction, they can be sung to evoke happiness or sadness, they can be encouraging or devastating but regardless of their use they always have effect. This year the word I chose to fix my attention on is effectual...to lose the 'multi task' mentality and concentrate on being effectual in certain areas of my life that require focus.

Coming up with my word of the year is always a process that takes some time as I whittle down thoughts and ideas. This year I saw a recurring theme, areas that needed some work and it was not long before I  realized that I simply need to 'knuckle down' as my Gramps used to say and get to the business of creating new habits, ones that would impact my life in positive ways.

I said I would sit down and come up with five areas that needed attention, I have generalized them for now.  Each one has a story for me, a story that needs to be written down, a story that needs a bit of editing in order to make it better. Over the next few months I will try to identify some  of the problem habits and why I do them before committing to replace them with better habits. Here are some of the things I came up with over a good cup of coffee!

1. Physical Health
     ~I started working on this one by NOT eating after 8pm, I think I did it mostly out of boredom (or loneliness) so I have started a crochet project to pick up instead of heading to the fridge...my first baby step!

2. Mental Health/Self Care
     ~This one requires a bit more thought as to steps that will be sustainable...I have ideas!

3. Spiritual Health
     ~Signed up for a morning app that I can delve into before I get out of bed...it is a start!

4. Social Interaction
     ~Committing to reconnecting with friends and making time to go for coffee or share a meal... I have made a few friend dates already!

5. Simple Joys
     ~my babies provide a lot of joy and for that I am grateful however I am hoping to add a few things that are just for me...perhaps a painting class is in my future?

Each of the above are small steps towards producing the desired effect of making positive changes and I cannot wait to see what can be accomplished as I move toward a happier and more fulfilling existence. Thanks for joining the journey

And just like that the dial changes...

I can hardly be it is the end of another decade...it was not long ago that I was a young adult and Prince was singing "party like it's 1999" .

 Amazing how time seems to go faster as I grow older...sigh!

When I look at the last 10 years I am horrified to see that more than half of them were very difficult. That said I am grateful for the glimpses of wonder that were present during this time. While I have had heartache I have also had joy. While I have cried I have also laughed. While I have had to say goodbye to treasured loved ones I have also been able to embrace new beloved ones. While my health has threatened me I have also been blessed to heal and watch my babies grow.

As we embark on the new year I have decided that 'effectual' will be my word of 2020...there are many reasons for this word and over the upcoming weeks I will try to articulate why this was chosen. Tomorrow while I sit in my comfy chair with a coffee and Bailey's I shall start to chart the five things that I want to change in the upcoming months....whatever they are I hope to be effectual in the planning.

A Melancholy Moment

Well apparently I suck at blogging consistently!
 Life is always seems to be a wee bit insane and get in the way.

My year was supposed to be about me learning to take time for myself and replenish but I have not succeeded. . .  thank goodness the year is not over yet! Unfortunately I think that I have become a master of checking out, sometimes that is the easiest solution and since life has been difficult for many years I am all about finding easy.

Although I have thought about my list to motivate myself,  I have been unable to make it actually happen.  It often surprises me how quickly time can pass without having done much other than survive. It is important to note that I am very grateful for my babies, without them I am not sure there would be any real happiness in my world. Busy is not only a problem in my life but in that of my friends making it hard to connect, the harder it is to find time the easier it is to check out....and there in lies part of my dilemma.

 So what can I do to replenish my soul in the way I feel I need? How do I learn to make time that is valuable? What needs to change in order for me to fully enjoy life?

I suppose that only I have the answer to those questions but right now I feel as though I have misplaced my keys...I know they are there I simply cannot put my finger on them right now.

Inherently lazy?

Or perhaps hereditary lazy....either way I think I have a problem!

I go to bed each night thinking tomorrow is the morning I will wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go to the gym, each morning I fail to complete my task. This is a problem I have struggled with for most of my life. Growing up there was no emphasis put on sports or activity of any kind, I mean I was fortunate that we had a pool in the backyard and bikes in the garage so it not that we sat in front of the 'idiot box' as my grandmother liked to call it, but organized, scheduled activity was simply not a priority.

As an adult it became more apparent that I was uncoordinated with little balance so I was not inclined to join up for any kind of sports, then came parenting and even harder single parenting....who had time for something I did not particularly enjoy. The problem is now my babies are grown and have flown the nest and I am still lazy! OK, perhaps I am being a bit hard on me, I am more unmotivated than lazy but the outcome feels the same when one's health is involved.

So how do I motivate myself to get up and move? Overcoming the emotional hurdle may very well be the hardest part!! I have spent a few days doing some research and here are a few of the things that I think may help.

1. Remind myself why
2. Define a goal
3. Start with small steps
4. Make it fun
5. Reward myself

So the why seems pretty obvious. . .  health. There are numerous studies that document the adverse effects of a sedimentary lifestyle and I have beautiful grand-babies that I want to be around to play with for a long time. That takes care of number 1 & 2

I have started doing yoga and I really it. Funny that somehow this does not feel difficult to do as long as I have allotted at least an hour so I can emerge feeling refreshed and ready to face my day. I certainly feel as if I have more energy so I guess this is the small step I need to gain more motivation.

That leaves me with attempting to make exercise fun (afraid I have not found the fun factor yet). I am not quite sure how to accomplish this but while I try to define the fun in exercise I should think about the reward.  I think I may see a new pair of shoes (Fleuvogs perhaps) or maybe a chunky & funky necklace in my future! What kind of reward motivates you?

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Zig Ziglar

Do you think God does Yoga?

I am not trying to be sarcastic or a heathen but for whatever reason I could not help but wonder this morning if God did yoga? As I attempted my warrior poses I could picture how majestic God would look (especially compared to me) with His graceful ability to balance perfectly. I asked a good friend who just happens to be a yoga teacher and her response was "of course! Breath of God - He is all about breathing!'

Yoga literally means union in Sanskrit, union of body, mind and soul.  I am of the belief that if we use this union to praise and connect with God, He will be absolutely thrilled that we are choosing to spend some time communing with Him. Now please, no hate mail, I understand that everyone has a different view ranging from a wonderful, calming work-out to new-age mumbo jumbo. Regardless of your view I have to say it is some of the toughest exercise I have ever done and during the past 6 months I  have found it to be an excellent tool in my ability to focus on the good in my life while exploring more of the characteristics in my life that I feel God may like me to improve.

This weekend I had the pleasure of taking a class that a friend was teaching at the beautiful Haven Yoga & Wellness studio....the catch was that it was a wee bit more challenging than I was prepared for (did I mention that I have been doing mostly light chair yoga due to some knee issues). That said a good yoga teacher apparently adapts for her students so a chair was procured and I was showed how to use it as a stabilizing prop when doing some of the planking style poses. I thoroughly enjoyed the class and wondered if I had gotten 'anything' out of it with my adapted poses, perhaps I thought, I was simply not good enough to do the tougher class. Oh was I wrong!  It felt good to be challenged so  the next day I looked up some on line classes for plus size women and found Helen Camisa! Her blog inspired me to focus on changing how I feel about myself as a 'woman of size'.  As I have used some of her tricks and adaptations I feel fantastic about being able to better do something I love without feeling the body shame that usually comes with this kind of exercise.

So as I have spent the last few days engaging in yoga I have been able to adapt my mindset as well. I do not do the yoga that Google pictures are full of, mine is a bit different and for the first time in a long time the shame of my 'size' has not stopped me. I have felt that union between myself and my body, it is not perfect but it is mine.

I feel refreshed and renewed....and for the first time in a very long time I have felt the breath of God.